But he/she is finally really happy!

• He/She was happy here.
• And why would he not be happy here with us?
• Oh, my daughter/son was very happy with her/his family, really happy.
• Yes, but my child would be happy here with me, too.
• How do you know that!?! Maybe my child would rather be here with us.
• He was very comfortable with us here on earth and I only hope he is just as happy where he is today!
• My child was happy. He was the happiest baby! I could only imagine him/her crying, being separated from me and the ones he/she loved, as much as we cried being separated from him/her.
• They were happy with their family here also.

He/She was an Angel on Earth - not meant to be here.

• God doesn't make mistakes. He/She was meant to be and I am so thankful he/she was no matter how long I had him/her.
• Yes he/she was an Angel. But I think by getting pregnant he/she was meant to be here.
• That is truly unfair.
• My child was meant to be! He/She was a gift to me from God.
• Yes, he/she was an angel, but he/she deserved a life here on earth.
• God could never punish me like that. It was by his hands that I survived here on earth than the human hands that took my child from me.
• He/She was certainly meant to be here, even if his/her visit was but a short one.
• They wouldn't have been born if they weren't meant to be here.

He/She wouldn't want you to cry.

• Crying is part of grieving and healing and should/must be done. (I read once that it is a proven fact that the tears of grief is a different chemical makeup than other tears.)
• Probably not, but he/she understands.
• Your wrong, my son/daughter knows me and he/she would say cry if it helps then smile for me.
• Maybe not, but crying is better then being angry with everyone around me.
• You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little selfish and I want him/her here.
• No, but my child knows that my tears are my way of expressing my love for him/her.
• Perhaps, but crying does make me feel better.
• I think my children, understand that momma is sad and momma is going to cry.  Besides how do you know they would not want me to cry over them?
• My child was only 18 months... I'm sure he/she wouldn't understand the tears I shed for him/her, but somehow I doubt that he/she wouldn't want me to mourn his/her death.
• Well, I wouldn't want him to be dead so that makes two of us out of luck.
• I'm sure they wouldn't.

Time will heal.

• Time won't heal this hurt, it only makes it easier to bear.
• I have heard that too and I am waiting, I'll let you know.
• Your wrong, time only allows you the grace to find a living place. A place to go on living and carry the pain.
• God I hope that is the case.  But you never know about time.
• Exactly how much time would it take you to "heal" after something like this?
• Time is endless.
• No, time doesn't heal, it just makes it easier to cope.
• Well, I sure don't see time healing.
• Time is not what heals, though it does dull the sharpness and frequency, thankfully. But when you are newly bereaved you don't need to keep hearing that over and over because it negates the immediate feelings that you are having.
• Time does ease the Intense pain, but the deep scars are forever.
• Time also punishes me.

This is killing you.

• No it is not killing me, it is hurting me.
• No, it's making me a stronger person.
• No, I'm very much alive. It isn't that simple.
• Maybe slowly, but somehow I will manage.
• Yeah its killing me , I should have died first not them!
• Yes, in a way it is a death inside to have one's child die.
• It already did. The person I was before my children died with them.
• There was a time I wish it would, truly. But no I am alive, at times the walking dead, but alive. As time passes you shall notice that a part of me died with my child, you will mourn the "Old me" you once knew, accept the "New me," or choose not to.

How did you live through this?

• What choice do we have? We had to live through this or give up. I chose to live.

I don't know how you carry on, I know if it was me that I couldn't.  At least your child lived one-fourth of his/her life.

• What age would you chose for your child to die?

It was God's will. (God does not close a door without opening a window)

• No, God doesn't try to cause us pain, especially pain like this.
• My God would never purposely hurt me like this.
• Now please explain to me why God would tell you about his plans for me and not tell me?
• It is? Why?
• It may have been his but not mine.
• Yes it is God's will. Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it, or that I don't hurt because of it. God's will is not our will, but I do trust that He knows what He is doing!
• Everything is God's will, but we don't always like it. I realize as a child of God that I should accept His will for me in my life without question, but I am a frail, fragile being, whom He created, and I want to scream "Why" till the rafters shake.
• A lot of things are God's will, but Jesus himself wept in the garden.
• Not the God I believe in.

You're a strong person, God knew you'd be able to carry this burden.

• Strong people still bleed and believe it or not their hearts still break.
• I don't know about strong, just doing what I have to do to live each day until I can see my child again.
• I don't feel that way. I didn't make it through this alone. I've had God and my child beside me at all times.
• Well it is no burden I wish to carry, thank you.
• I am not strong, I am just surviving and trying to do what I am need to do.  You wouldn't say I was strong if you see me when I really fall apart and can't stop crying.
• How do you know that is what he thought?
• Yes, God did. I didn't. Not for a very long time. It's been years since my son died, but his death was the catalyst for many good things. But right after my son's death I was not ready to accept that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose." I needed to rant and rail against God. Thankfully, He was patient with me.
• I would take innocence over that particular brand of strength any day.  Wouldn't you?
• First death of a child is not a burden, it is DEVASTATION, and God has seen me through, not choosing me as a burden carrier. Strong is an understatement.
• Truly I am so very weak, torn and bruised, hiding behind a mask of some sort, one day I hope I may remove it in your presence.

I won't ask you about your son/daughter. It makes me depressed.

• Then you are missing out on knowing a really great person.
• I wish you would, it makes me happy when people take the time to remember my son/daughter.
• I'm sorry if my life depresses you.
• I'm sorry you are depressed but telling others about my child eases my depression and lets me share him/her with you.
• Please do, to talk about my child makes his/her memory worth having.
• Well, I am sorry it makes you depressed, but I need to talk about them.
• Well, isn't that too bad! I certainly wouldn't want to make another depressed, but talking about my child is one way to keep his memory alive. He lived, he was my son, he will always be a part of me, and I will talk about him whether you ask or not.
• It's too bad that you feel that way. I, on the other hand, listen to each milestone little (insert child's name here) achieves despite the pain it causes me, because I care about you.
• Do you enjoy talking about your children.? I want to talk about mine also, I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable but even though their not here with me they are still my children.
• Then please, by all means, don't contact me for a while.

I don't want to hear about your son/daughter or about his/her grave. I want to hear about you. How are you?

• I am here.
• I am sad and missing my child. Please do not act like he never existed. Cause he/she did to me.
• My son is part of me. So, if you want to hear about me, you'll hear about him, too.
• My child was such a big part of me, that I can't tell you about me without mentioning him/per as well.
• I am miserable, because I miss my child and nothing can make this awful pain go away.
• I am not doing good, you won't talk about my children with me. Its not fair, how can you think that by not talking about it that will make things better for me?
• That is a part of me. If you don't want to hear about that, then you don't really care about what I'm feeling.
• People don't want to hear how we really are.
• How do you think I am? I lost my child.
• Then truly don't ask, for I am not able to take your wants right now.

I know how you feel, I lost my dad/brother/friend last year.

• Come on. Not even close.