Unfortunately if losing your child isn’t enough, there are times when a lawsuit has to be brought about for the death of your child.  Speaking from personal experience, it’s horrible.  Don’t know another way to describe it. I’m hoping to clue anyone in on the process that is going to go through the same thing and hopefully save a little bit of heart ache.

 One thought that will go through your head is the statement, none of this will bring back my child.  True.  And you’ll also question yourself why go through all this?  The money?  What’s that even matter when your whole world has stopped right?   It doesn’t but your life does have to go on no matter what.  We both lost our jobs and came close to losing our home and cars.  Because of what happened, we were unable to work and pay our bills. That wasn’t the reason of it all…. we really wanted the doctors to take responsibility for what they did.  That was the biggest issue behind the lawsuit.  Justice. Taking responsibility.  In the end, that still didn’t happen.

We also want to give you a big warning about the whole legal process.  It’s something we learned the hard way and it was incredibly frustrating.  The lawyers will see the whole entire case as a chess match against each other. Who will make the best moves. It has NOTHING to do with your child!!  Sad?  VERY!  But true. They lost total sight over the fact that the whole case was over the loss of a three year old little boy that left us too young.  It was all about what could we say or do to win.  The truth didn’t matter it seemed.

The worst part of the whole process was having to relive the whole entire loss over, and over, and over, and over again.  As if that isn’t bad enough, you have to relive it in COMPLETE detail. Everything you want to erase from your memory is instead being pounded in stone in your memory and you feel like you are living that horrible day all over again.  It hurts just as bad to sit there while the other party is in their deposition and you have to listen to their callous answers.  And you find out things you didn’t know which in turn make you feel even worse. Like with us, his pediatrician had two other near deaths that were swept under the rug because they were settled out of court and kept secret.  A true knife to the heart.

We ended up settling out of court. It was such a painful, horrible experience and our lawyer was awful and dropped the ball sad to say.  Thankfully the doctor retired after this and so no more children will have to deal with him, and all the lawsuit did was help us a little bit financially through the years until we were able to get back on our feet.

 So what do you take from this?  The lawsuit is a chess match between lawyers and nothing more.

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